A Sue in the Castle!
by MirrorX14
Summary: When Erin, a generic and deliberately-made Mary Sue, finds the Castle That Never Was, she demands to join Organization XIII like the paper in her hands tells her to. Short chapters, possible crack and OOC-ness, Mary Sue warning. I'm open to criticism.
1. Intro: Keep the Door Closed!

It was a normal morning in the Castle That Never Was. In two neat rows at the long white breakfast table, twelve out of thirteen members were eating pancakes. Xemnas, who had been eating in his office ever since the mashed potato incident, was not present. Roxas had fallen asleep, his face down on the pristine marble surface; Axel was leaning across the table and pouring hot sauce into Xigbar's orange juice; Larxene and Marluxia were discussing _Little Shop of Horrors_; Demyx was trying to scarf down his pancakes and get back to practicing his sitar; Vexen, Lexaeus, and Zexion were debating whether or not to buy new locks for the lab doors; Xaldin was trying to retain his sanity by not speaking to everyone; Saïx was quietly eating his pancakes, eager to escape the noisy room.

Suddenly, a knocking sound echoed down the empty halls of the castle. Saïx twitched his ears, gulped down the last of his meal, and excused himself to see who on earth could possibly be at the door. As he walked down to the front entrance, his boots tapping on the tile floor, he heard yet another knock. Although he knew the intruder couldn't possibly hear him, he grumbled, "I'm coming, I'm coming," as he quickened his pace.

When he opened the door, he was shocked to see a young girl, rather than a lesser Nobody or a Keyblade warrior. "Miss," he began, "this is not a place for children to be. I'm not quite sure how you got here, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

The girl looked down at a pink slip of paper in her hands. When she looked back up at Saïx, her blue-green eyes were filled with confusion. "Isn't this the Never-Was Castle?"

"We call it 'The Castle That Never Was,' but yes, essentially. Now please leave."

She frowned at the paper, as if demanding to know why her destination was misprinted. "I'm supposed to be here," she cried indignantly. "This paper says I'm supposed to join Organization Ex-Eye-Eye-Eye, and I'm not leaving until I do what the paper says!"

At this point, Saïx was sure that the only possible option was to have Naminé erase this girl's memory. After all, she knew who they were, the location of the castle, and she obviously wasn't leaving on her own free will. Letting false emotion ooze from his voice in a diabetes-inducing manner, Saïx offered her his left hand. "Follow me, and I'll take you where you need to go."

Her eyes lit up as she happily latched onto the blue-haired man's hand. This was all quite confusing for the poor Nobody. Where had this girl come from? Why wasn't she even remotely afraid of him? And what was that paper, anyway? He pondered these questions as he led her up several staircases, up higher and higher, until they reached Naminé's tower. "Naminé, your services are needed," he called as he entered the small room. "Take care of this… thing… while I report the intruder to Xemnas."

"Who's Naminé?" the teal-eyed girl asked, tilting her head slightly.

Naminé rose, dusting eraser bits from her knee-length dress. "That would be me," she answered softly, before turning to Saïx and bowing her head. "Right away, sir."

As the black-cloaked man turned and left, the small blonde girl shut the door.

* * *

"There is an intruder in the castle," Saïx stated bluntly, "and I have no information to report on her, but I have delivered her to Naminé's tower for memory erasure."

Slowly, an office chair turned around, revealing a tanned Nobody with silver hair and a determined expression. "Zexion was just in here. He also reported a presence in the castle… something about sugar cookies… This is a most unusual case, and I feel that I should meet this girl."

Amber eyes widened in shock. "Sir, are you serious? She could be dangerous!"

The man in the chair stood up just as slowly as he had turned around. "Saïx, do you question me?"

"N-no, Xemnas," he stuttered, "I was just thinking, what if she has a Keyblade?"

Xemnas smirked and waved a hand as he said, "In that case, she could be useful."


	2. Chapter 1: Luxord Finally Shows Up

**All That Author's Notes Crap! 8D**

Well, I don't own KH. I never will. But I do own the little Sue-girl. Do I seriously have to put one of these disclaimers in every chapter? lD I'm such a lazy idiot.

Also, this is where I beg you for reviews. They make me happy, they make me want to write more, and _none of this helps me finish my History homework._

And if I don't update often? Assume that my AP and Honors classes ate me alive.

...there was a bit of a tiny timeskip in this chapter, and if you can guess who Luxord's friend is (and you're not one of the few people I know in person and bother to read this fic), I'll... uh... do something cool for you? Your hint is: He's from a world not in KH, or any Disney movie. He's from an animated movie, and he has an AWESOME HAT. Woo, obscure hints.

* * *

Xemnas, sitting in the highest of the floating white chairs, began the meeting by clearing his throat. Everyone fell silent as he spoke in a slow and almost rehearsed-sounding manner. "As you may have heard, a girl has found her way into the castle. She appears to have a certain power, according to information I am not at liberty to disclose the source of, which may help us in our quest to complete Kingdom Hearts."

Murmurs arose from the circle of black-robed Nobodies, each with their own question about this mentioned girl. Aside from the X-scarred man who sat with his legs crossed and a bored expression on his face and the girl who watched from the shadows next to the thirteenth throne, none had even seen her. They all wondered how a girl – much less a human girl – could have found their fortress. However, none dared to ask their questions.

A black-gloved hand was raised, and the whispers of ten voices died to an echo in the spacious room. "Now," Xemnas continued, "I will introduce you to the girl who will become a fourteenth member in our 'family' of sorts."

"How can we have a fourteenth member," Axel interrupted, "if our name is Organization XIII?"

"Yeah! It just doesn't seem right," Xigbar agreed.

Vexen scowled. He didn't like the idea either, but he wasn't about to question the Superior's motives. Zexion, however, dared to speak. "Sir," he began, "Might I request an explanation for how our name will remain the same?"

Xemnas nodded slowly, silver hair falling forward over his tanned face. "Indeed. You see, it is as simple as the human concept of bad luck. The number thirteen is feared as an unlucky number."

Satisfied, the Cloaked Schemer sat back to watch the chaos unfold as Xemnas called in the newest member. A portal to a corridor of darkness opened up in the center of the room, contrasting starkly with its colorless surroundings. Suddenly, a girl of about sixteen years stepped out of the portal, gracefully as a princess. Well, actually, she staggered out as though someone had shoved her through with a blow to the back, but it seemed as though every movement she made was careful, deliberate, and light as air. Zexion wrinkled his nose at the overpowering sugar-cookie scent in the air. Axel dared to laugh as the girl stared around the room, teal eyes wide with shock and terror. "Where am I?"

Her soft, questioning voice filled the room, and every member leaned forward to listen. However, her spell was broken as another portal opened up in an empty chair that none had noticed before. "Luxord," Saïx snarled, "you're late again."

A platinum-blonde man with a beard and several piercings in his ears shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry, Saïx. I was having a friendly chat with a mate of mine, and as ironic as it seems, time just slipped away!"

The blue-haired Nobody rolled his eyes and sighed with exasperation. "Well, the ceremony you so rudely interrupted was the induction of our fourteenth member."

"What?! How can—"

Axel laughed again, putting on an obnoxious mockery of a British accent. "Sorry, mate. You missed the whole bloody thing."

A few of the others laughed, before a sharp clap cut them all off. "Enough," Xemnas commanded. "This ceremony must be completed."

The girl jumped at the sudden noise. "Tell us your name," Xemnas ordered.

"E-Erin," she stuttered, looking around with a bewildered expression.

Four semi-transparent letters appeared in front of her, whirling around and changing places. Just as she thought she was going to faint from dizziness, an X slid into the letters of her former name. "Nerix," she breathed, swaying from side to side.

"Nerix," the other members repeated in unison.

Again, Xemnas spoke. "Nerix, do you step willingly into the darkness, knowing that you will leave behind who you once were?"

She giggled and replied, "I do," sparking laughs among the same who had found Axel's imitation of Luxord humorous.

Mentally, Xemnas told himself to buy more aspirin. Rubbing his temples, he continued by saying in an exasperated tone, "Then let the transformation begin from girl to Nobody."

Tendrils of the same dark matter as the portal began to rise from the floor, encircling the girl. Each member waited in anticipation to see the shimmering pink heart rise from the darkness, but they waited in vain. The darkness surrounding the girl began to churn and swirl violently, creating a phantom wind in the circular room. Inside, Nerix began to panic, unable to escape her prison.

"Sir," Saïx whimpered, pointed ears twitching, "I don't believe this is working."

Worried, Xemnas pulled the paper the girl had been holding from his pocket. Skimming through it, he could find nothing that mentioned Sues losing their hearts. He turned the paper over and saw in tiny letters, "Sues are physically unable to lose their hearts due to the lack of darkness within them. It is likely that instead of creating both a Heartless and a Nobody, their body will retain a fragment of their heart, and only a minor change in physical appearance and skill will result from the attempt to create a Nobody. Sues cannot be true Nobodies." This did not bode well.

Everyone was watching the bubble of darkness in the center of the room, waiting for something to happen. Seconds ticked by like hours as the almost-living material tried to create a new Nobody from a shell of a girl containing no impurities. Nerix lost consciousness inside, giving up her internal battle to save herself.

At last, something happened. A pin-prick beam of light burst from the top of the orb of darkness, creating glowing cracks all around. With a strange "shimmer" sound effect, the darkness dissipated, leaving behind the unmoving body of the young girl. A mournful silence fell on the room. Such potential wasted…

The girl let out a small groaning sound, then tried to push herself up from the ground. Her arms gave out, and she collapsed back to the ground, reminiscent of a fawn trying to stand for the first time. "Well fuck me sideways," Axel murmured to himself, "She survived it!"


	3. Chapter 2: Shut Up and Visualize!

**MORE OF THIS 8D**

Obligatory Sue Description Paragraph - check.

Subtle Jab at Twilight Biology - check.

Rip-off Cheap Cliffhanger - check

Over-used Puns - check

Ownership of KH2 - not check.

* * *

Nerix finally struggled to her feet. Slowly, she turned in a circle to see everyone, but also gave a clear view of her new form by doing so. The soft waves of her brown hair had lightened, now streaked through with deep reddish-brown hue. Her eyes stood out more against her slightly-paler skin, seeming to glow with an inner light. She gasped softly as she realized her whole body had changed, becoming thinner with the loss of the majority of her heart, but somehow not subtracting from her already nearly-flat chest. She wondered if there was blood in her body, with no heart to move it. For half a second, her eyes flicked to the male Nobodies, in a question she dared not ask. All the Nobodies in the room watched her as she attempted to store all their faces in her memory... Well, that's what they thought was on her mind.

"Am I… a Nobody now?"

Xemnas felt that the best option was to lie. "Yes. You are."

"But what does that mean?" she asked, her voice full of innocence that should have been stripped away, and was false just a moment before.

Vexen stood in his chair, ready to give his most scientific explanation. Both Xemnas and Saïx cast a warning glare in his direction, and he decided to cut his explanation short. "Essentially, it means that you have no heart. With the loss of your heart, you have also lost your emotions. You will continue to feel some, as your memories will tell you how you should react to things, but they are illusions," he stated, as though reading off a clipboard or note-card.

Suddenly, Xigbar blurted out, "So, what's her power? And what about her weapon?"

"Ah, yes. Nerix, attempt to summon your weapon," Saïx instructed bluntly, as though he expected her to automatically know how.

Nerix blinked slowly, long lashes nearly brushing against her cheeks. "How? I didn't even know I had a weapon!"

Everyone in the room, as if on cue, recited in a bored tone, "Focus your inner power and visualize your weapon in your hands."

Staring at her small, delicate hands, Nerix began to wonder what her weapon was. "A scythe?" she asked.

"Taken," Marluxia called out.

A look of horror washed over her face as she whirled around to see who spoke. Demyx giggled. "Ha, she thought you were a girl, Marly!"

Regaining her composure, she asked, "What about shuriken or kunai or something?"

"Taken too," Larxene sneered, "and you're NOT borrowing mine."

"Well, how about a…"

"Shut up and visualize, girl," Axel yelled, cracking his knuckles.

Nerix yelped and closed her eyes, trying to focus as much energy as possible on visualizing something in her hands. But what kind of something? She ran through a list of ideas, but all seemed too ineffective in battle.

"I'll startle it out of her," someone suggested.

Opening her eyes just in time to see a lance lodge in the floor next to her, she let out a panicked scream and jumped back, something materializing in her right hand. Gasps and murmurs filled the room as everyone craned their necks to get a better view of what she held.

"It's… a baton," she said to herself, turning the object around in her hands. It was a simple thing, with a silver shaft and plain white ends. "It's just a little baton."

"Better be able to attack with that," Demyx laughed, "because you're stuck with it! I wound up summoning my sitar, and it took me ages to figure out how to synch that with my power!"

"Si… tar…"

The dirty-blonde boy groaned, not eager to explain to yet another person. "Ok, basically a sitar is—"

"Oh no," Nerix interrupted, "I know what one is. I just don't see how you could attack with one…"

"Welcome to the illogical weapons club," Zexion sighed. "At least your weapon isn't a book."

"A book?" What kind of weapon was that? Nerix was very confused by all this. Did the weapons represent the personality of their wielders? Or were they simply random things?

"Yes. A book. Now I suggest you try to tap into your power. We're all quite anxious to know what it is."

Nerix fell silent, staring at the baton, trying to figure out what kind of power would go with such an odd weapon. Although everyone expected to see something happen, nothing did. An hour of staring and hoping went by before Nerix finally said, "Huh. I guess I just don't have a power."

"You have one week to find your power, or, following standard policy, you will be eliminated," Saïx stated, his voice a far cry from the false sweetness that had greeted Nerix just that morning.

"One week… only a week," she whispered to herself. "Well, wish me luck!"

* * *

Oh my god, I'm so sorry I keep using this cheap humor! I know its's so over-used! But for each review (or even flame) I get... uh... I'll... lD No idea.


	4. Chapter 3: Long Boring Introductions

Still don't own KH. Now, on with the fun part.

Warning: Horribly long introduction chapter is horribly long!

* * *

"Seven daaays… seven daaays," someone called out from one of the mile-high white chairs lining the walls of the room.

At once, Nerix looked around frantically, then wobbled and fell to the ground. "Whoops," she laughed, dusting herself off as she stood again, "I guess I'm still a little dizzy from the whole 'getting my still-beating heart ripped from my chest by the forces of darkness' thing!"

If there had been a non-Jiminy cricket within ten miles of the castle, one could've heard its chirping in the silence that settled on the room. Abruptly, a loud California-surfer-accented voice rang out, "Gay baby," and the silence dissolved into laughs and the occasional snicker of a certain pink-haired man's name.

Long after the stern air of the room returned, one member was still stifling giggles. He was stopped within seconds by a small, knife-like object lodging in the back of the chair just millimeters from his left ear. He yelped and tried to push himself away from the offending weapon, but succeeded only in flinging himself from the chair like a metaphorical lemming and hitting the tile with a "THWACK" loud enough to shake the highest towers in the castle. Several members recoiled, making sounds of sympathy, but none moved to help the poor hooded klutz. Helpful nature kicked in for poor little Nerix, and she rushed over to the black-cloaked form on the floor. "Are you alright?" she asked, prodding the young man with her new baton.

"Urrngh… Larxene, why do you have to hit so haaard?" he whined.

"I'm not Larxene," Nerix chirped, "I'm the new girl."

The fallen Nobody sat up with a jolt, accidentally knocking her back and smacking his head on the base of his chair. A shrill laugh followed, then a female voice teased, "Wow, Demy, the entertainment just never stops!"

Xemnas rubbed his temples again, seriously considering turning every single Nobody in the room into Dusks. He had simply faded into the background of all the chaos, ignored by the rambunctious crowd of heart-lacking people. "Attention, please," he commanded, clapping his hands once for emphasis.

Roxas was the only one who heard. Immediately, he tore off a glove, put his fingers to his mouth, and whistled loud enough for a second member to go tumbling from their seat, hands gripping the sides of their hood. Not a single person moved to help, not even Nerix.

"Anyway," Xemnas began, taking on his 'long and boring lecture in which the word Heart is used at least seventy-four times' tone, "you will now line up, hoods off, and introduce yourselves to the new member. Those of you who are inclined to frighten the new member, please refrain from doing so," and only Saïx caught him finishing with, "…even though she doesn't have a Keyblade."

At their leader's command, the ten Nobodies who were still in their chairs teleported down to meet-and-greet Nerix in a single-file line. First up was Xigbar, who tossed back his hood and smiled. "Hey there, newbie. Welcome to the shark tank. This ain't the kiddie pool, so you gotta play rough to live. Er… not re-die."

Nerix shuddered, imagining the ponytailed man as a scarred shark with an eye-patch, swimming up beneath some poor child's feet as they floated in an inner tube, oblivious to the danger. "Right… sharks," she laughed nervously, eyeing Xigbar as though he might sprout three rows of fangs and bite her head off.

"But whatever. My name is Xigbar, and I'm number two in this nuthouse. I like guns, surfing, and screwing with gravity," he chuckled, as though plotting something. Suddenly, he lifted up off the ground, did a 180 flip in mid-air, and called out, "G'bye now, newbie!"

Staring up after him, Nerix's expression was the epitome of "what the hell am I high on," with a dash of "did that just happen?"

A tall, muscular man with his arms behind his back stepped forward. Beneath his hood, Nerix was shocked to see a ponytailed mass of dreadlocks, and rather intimidating sideburns. "My name is Xaldin," he stated bluntly, with traces of boredom obvious in his voice, "and my number is three."

He left with no further introduction, and a cloaked figure with a narrow waist spoke. "And I am Vexen, the Chilly Academic. I am number four, my element is ice, and I am a senior mem—"

"Senior is right," the voice Nerix recognized as the man who mocked everyone suddenly interrupted.

An awkward, flustered, screeching noise came from beneath Vexen's hood. "Axel, you disrespectful little—"

Vexen was moved aside by a pair of arms that put Xaldin's muscular mass to shame… no, made them look like toothpicks! Nerix squeaked and shrank away from the tree-trunk-like Nobody. "I am Lexaeus, number five, and my element is earth," he spoke in a deep, ironically gravelly tone.

Lexaeus left, taking the still-stuttering Vexen with him. The androgynous figure who had briefly spoken about a book began to introduce himself while pulling back his hood. "Hello, Nerix. My name is Zexion, and my element is illusion. I am number six, as you may have guessed, and as you know, my weapon is a lexicon."

A flash of knowledge flickered across Nerix's face as she blurted out, "Lexicon is the Greek word for 'dictionary,' I think."

"Correct, but please allow me to finish," Zexion sighed in exasperation. "If you don't mind the orders of the higher-up members, you may find yourself in… a tight situation."

Nerix laughed, wondering how many innuendos she could point out in that sentence. Zexion obviously caught on, as a faint blush tinted his visible cheek. Nervously fiddling with his asymmetrical haircut, he thought for a moment, then turned on his heel and left with no goodbye. "Pardon his abrupt departure," the man Nerix knew as Saïx told her. "Zexion is unsure how to react to new people, especially if they remind him at all of Axel. I suggest that you refrain from making those sorts of jokes around him, as he is quite serious."

"Did you read my mind?!" Nerix accused, eyes widening.

Saïx resisted the urge to smack his already-scarred forehead on the nearest wall. "It was written all over your face!" he groaned.

Another silence fell, but this time, there was no Xigbar to break it. Finally, Saïx continued his introduction when Axel prodded him in the back. "Erm… My name is Saïx, as you know. My number is seven, and my element is," he hesitated, "the moon."

Axel snorted and chanted, "Lunatic, lunatic," until Saïx whirled around and snarled. "Jesus, wolf-boy. Cool it with the rabies!"

Leaving in a huff, Saïx disappeared into a portal. Nerix wondered if there were any inner doors in this castle, or if portals were the only way around. Could she make a portal? She was about to try, but then Axel broke her concentration. "The name's Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?"

"Axel's really not a difficult name to memorize," she said casually, shrugging off Axel's question.

The redhead's left eye twitched visibly. He was beginning to lose patience with this annoyingly-perfect little girl, and he was just seconds away from turning her into Sue flambé when he was shoved aside by the resident bundle of hyperactivity. "HI! My name's Demyx! I'm number nine, and I like water. …and ice cream. Axel, buy me ice cream!"

Axel shuddered at the non-stop stream of words meshing together into one long and headache-inducing sound. "No, I will NOT buy you ice cream," he said forcefully, storming through a portal.

Demyx removed his hood. If love at first sight was possible, it certainly had the wrong directions. Love took a left turn at the intersection of Mullet and Mohawk, and ran straight off a cliff and into shark-infested class V rapids. Then it managed to drag itself onto the sharp-and-pointy rocks and shake the water out of its ears, only to slip back under. The resulting reaction for poor Nerix was a healthy dose of "Oh my god, who took a lawnmower to your hair?!" …mentally, of course.

"Hi, I'm Nerix. I'd introduce you to my friend Gravity, but I see you're already… closely acquainted."

Demyx laughed weakly. "That's a first impression you'll never forget," he mumbled, as if only to cheer himself up.

"I'm sure the floor won't forget it either," the shorter girl said drily.

Not seeing the faint smile she cast his way, Demyx resorted to speaking flustered gibberish. He was never good with making new friends, especially girl friends. Upon running out of air after a solid stream unintelligible letter combinations that not even slamming a hand on a keypad would make, he bid his new fellow Nobody goodbye and hurried through a portal, eager to escape the awkward situation. Nerix was left baffled and not entirely sure if Demyx had a concussion, or if he was just always weird.

Continuing the chain of people, the latecomer introduced himself as Luxord and bowed dramatically. "Hello, young lady. Welcome to our Organization. I won't take up too much of your time – you see, time is my element – because we still have three more members to introduce," he continued, gesturing to the three silhouettes behind him, "and I really must be on my way."

"Alright, mister Luxord," Nerix piped up, nodding enthusiastically, making her red-brown waves of hair bounce. Something about the fact that this man had a beard was intimidating. It commanded respect. "I won't hold you up any longer!"

Luxord left, gesturing as he exited for the next member to approach. They did, and it turned out to be the pink-haired man that Nerix had mistaken for a girl. "Hello, fresh meat," he spat, "Welcome to hell. My name's Marluxia, and I'm a guy. Don't disrespect my flowers, or you'll have the biggest flytrap you've ever seen on your pretty little face."

Nerix whimpered and shrank back. A second figure appeared next to Marluxia, giggling with sadistic glee. "Oh, my fun is just starting," she laughed, placing a gloved hand on Marluxia's shoulder.

"Larxene, it's my turn," the gardener grumbled, shrugging off her hand.

Larxene grinned, stepping closer to the scared girl. "Look, I'll say this nice and simple so your sparkly little brain can comprehend it. You don't cross us if you want to live out the rest of your non-existence in peace."

"You're like the Mafia," Nerix breathed, awestruck.

Choosing not to respond to the sudden outburst, both Larxene and Marluxia gave warning glares as they departed, arms linked.

Finally, a small blonde boy approached Nerix. "Hey. I'm Roxas," he whispered softly, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "Um… I'm number thirteen, and I really don't know much about this. I use a Keyblade, and I… I hope we'll be friends."

Roxas looked at the floor, not letting their eyes meet. Suddenly, he was being hugged. By someone that wasn't Axel. "Aww," Nerix cooed, grinning like a kid who just found a friendly stray puppy, "No need to be shy! I don't know anything either!"

Silence. A faint snicker. Roxas burst out laughing, oddly amused by the wording of her confession, his forehead bumping against her shoulder as his body shook. "Man, I'd almost believe it!"

As Nerix let go, she felt awkward about calling herself stupid, but was more disturbed by the blue-eyed boy's sudden change in mood. Roxas staggered, then leaned on a wall. He pretended to wipe a tear from his eye, gave a genuine smile, and with his voice still shaking, he said, "By the way… nobody meets Xemnas in person. Meeting him is a baaad thing. Ahaha… just remember that, ok?"

Raising a perfect eyebrow, Nerix gave a single nod. "Right. Now where am I supposed to go?"

The teenage boy shrugged. "I think you're supposed to have someone show you around. I would, but I still don't know where things are."

"All right. Looks like whoever I run into first has to drag me around. See you later, Roxas!"

With a last chuckle, Roxas called after her, "If you survive your first day…"

* * *

AN: I'm lovin' these AN things. I could say anything, and most people probably don't read them. Tell ya what. If you read these, I'll start putting funny things in here.

Also, poor Wolfy Boy got dog-whistled. Seriously. I know this kid who looks like Roxas, and he can whistle SO LOUDLY. lD Yeah.

Edit: Thank you for catching the ECIP FIAL of the name-switch, Kow.


End file.
